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Aka“this sandwich won’t bite, I promise” guy, aka wait, is he going to cook this kitty cat?—may or may not be dating star of such Certified Fresh movies as Chef and Topher Grace-masterwork, In Good Company: the one, the only, the Scarlett Johansson about a week ago, news broke that Bobby Flay—aka hamburgler fuccboi.
Scarlett Johansson is 32-years-old, and perhaps one of the more gorgeous ladies on the earth. She’s additionally a fabulous actress, plus one of the very bankable movie movie stars in Hollywood. Her in Translation? Unbelievable. Her neuroticism that is free-spirited in Christina Barcelona and Match aim? First-rate. And He’s Simply Not That Towards You. Which was a film that has been made as soon as.
Bobby Flay, having said that, is 52. He’s a Food Network star. Along with his title seems like the version that is generic of title that gets offered at Walgreens for half the purchase price.
Used to do the mathematics. IT DOESN’T ADD UP. (I ALSO DON’T KNOW HOW EXACTLY TO DO MATH!)
And so I asked myself an extremely question that is simple asked myself for different purposes virtually every early morning since November:
Exactly exactly exactly How did we arrive here? And much more especially: if they’re certainly dating—which, who knows—how did Scar Jo arrive here?
Below, I’ve compiled an incomplete variety of Scarlett Johansson’s paramours, in approximately chronological purchase. This may assist us obtain a better image of what’s going on here.
2002Scarlett Johansson dated Fun. guitar player, Bleachers man and time that is otherwise big producer Jack Antonoff for 2 years in twelfth grade, during the pro Children’s class (listed here is a photo associated with the valedictorian).
2004AScarlett Johansson ended up being romantically associated with 31-year-old Jude Law, then 12 years her senior. She additionally had intercourse with Benicio del Toro in a elevator during the Chateau Marmont, that will be precisely the form of thing individuals who’ve never ever gone to the Chateau Marmont (me) would expect you’ll take place during the Chateau Marmont. She had been apparently seeing Patrick Wilson, too. There is certainly a pattern right right here: older dudes.
2005She has a fling with notorious lady’s guy Jared Leto, therefore starting her age-appropriate dudes phase.
2005-2007Johansson dates perma-teen-hearthrob Josh Hartnett for couple of years. It’s her first genuine relationship since Antonoff in вЂ02.
2008-2011Our woman goes right from Hartnett to Ryan Reynolds, who she marries. It’s a pretty move taste-wise that is lateral.
2011Scarlett gets divorced and would go to Mexico with Sean Penn.
2012Scarlett begins Nate that is dating Naylor A new york advertisement exec whom, based on people who understand him, has an eye fixed for risqué art and appears like Morrissey in the prime. That’s high praise for a normal individual to get. For contextualization benefit, I’ve just ever been in comparison to Matthew Perry, but less during their prime, and much more during the years he had been coked down on Friends.
2012-2016Scarlett times, then marries, then divorces journalist/editor that is french Dauriac.
2017Scarlett ended up being connected to SNL Weekend modify co-host Colin Jost as belated as May, which every person type of universally agrees to be a win that is huge Colin Jost. Now, finally, it might be Flay’s change.
Okay, time for you to come back to our question that is original did we arrive here?
Well, after meticulously Homeland-ing my whole room with images and paper clippings and different-colored yarns—i got myself the spools during the Yarn shop, it is a place—we arrived up with all the after explanation. I’ve used dashes to separate your lives the true points, to help you carry on with.
-2002 to approximately 2005 we are able to fundamentally discount as a result of Scarlett Johansson being truly a newly famous starlet that is 19-year-old Hollywood. It absolutely was, as individuals state, a stage. Completely behavior that is understandable. Particularly doing del Toro in a elevator. If perhaps you were a starlet between your many years of 19-24 between 2003-2006, it had been essentially a rite of passage to possess intercourse with del Toro in a resort lift.* After all, you dudes have experienced 21 Grams, right?
*Backed up by zero proof.
-2005 to 
2011 is much just about the “Oh wait we can essentially date any guy i would like” period. We get Hartnett. We have Reynolds. Two severe relationships with two really usually good-looking dudes.
-2011 (cont.): Classic rebound situation, going from an individual who smiles on a regular basis (Reynolds) to somebody whoever face is kind of stuck in a permanent snarl (Penn’s face).
-2012 to 2016 discovers Scarlett with two good-looking effective dudes (Naylor and Dauriac) that are however maybe perhaps perhaps not part of the Hollywood elite. After dating actors for such a long time, this really is a departure that is reasonable. Plus, hot innovative execs are the actors of normal individuals.
-Post-divorce, 2017 is probably Scarlett’s most year that is interesting date. Jost is type of a throwback to your clean-cut Reynolds-esque actors. And Flay feels as though the total results of a) returning to her 19-year-old older-guy-phase; and b) starring in Chef in 2014. Her toggling between your two is unique, yet also predictable: she’s been toggling between a Jost and a Flay in a single means or another her whole life that is dating.
For reasons uknown, I’m 76% sure she’ll date Anthony Bourdain next.
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Sam Eichner likes literary works, truth tv and their twin cats similarly. He’s regularly been told he requires a shave since he started growing hair that is facial.